Parenting

The Hockey Mom - Thoughts from the Sideline       By Debi Stagg     Okay, I have to admit it - I am a hockey mom. It is amazing how those few words can stir such controversy. Everyone has this preconceived image of what exactly a ‘hockey mom’ is - she is some kind of crazy lunatic who can only communicate only in screams and shouts. She is a bull with a target on the coaches. One minute she is screaming at her kid to “smash ‘em into the boards!” and the next, she is petting her child with loud assertions that it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t score, and she will have a ‘word’ with the coach. She is a woman with a one-track mind - make her kid a hockey star…no matter whom she has to step on. Let’s face it, even professional hockey players have views on ‘moms in the locker room’.     While I’ll admit there are a few of these types of moms out there, I am not one of them. And I would also like to point out this personality type can be found in any sport, not just hockey. Further, I have met many fathers that fall into this category. I guess what I am trying to say is that most hockey (sport) moms are just that - moms.     I can fully understand how a hockey mom can turn crazy. My boys have only just begun on their hockey journey, and already I am pulling my hair out. Not with their performance, but with their schedules. Twice on a weekend, every weekend, different games, different arenas, sometimes at the same time or, if I’m lucky, an hour between ice times. I cannot imagine what moms with more than two kids in the sport (or my sister who lives in a small town and has to drive her kids to other towns to play) must go through.     A hockey mom could be doing something else besides sitting in a cold arena with bad coffee, such as laundry, dishes, groceries, or getting a massage, but instead she has committed her time to her kids. She juggles her schedule to accommodate their ice times whether it is six o’clock in the morning or nine o’clock at night. She is chauffer, personal assistant, equipment supply officer, private cheering section, and shoulder to lean on. She is bingo hall worker and supply of unlimited fundraising money. She is ‘the woman behind the scenes’.     With this level of commitment, how can anyone not want to do everything possible to see their kid succeed? In my mind, if my boys come off the ice smiling, then I have succeeded. Perhaps for some moms, the brass ring to reach for is having their child get three goals per game.     I would like to point out what professional athletes always say when they receive outstanding recognition. They always thank their god, their coach, and their mom. What is with that? Maybe that commitment mothers give to their kid’s sports is worth something. Maybe hockey moms deserve a better rap. Maybe instead of snide jokes about moms in the locker room, there should be open arms.     Of course, going back to the ‘lunatic’ mom, a level of respectable behaviour is just something that should not be questioned. There is no place for bad-mouthing the coach, at the game or at home. There is no place for screaming at your child to “kill ‘em!” or “check the little creep!” There is no place for coming down on your child because he did not reach your level of success. There is no place for shouting matches and fist fights with other parents. There is only room for what moms do best - support, love and respect.     Sometimes I feel that if I cheer too loud, I might be labelled the ‘lunatic’ hockey mom. Sometimes when I want to shout my pride that my boy scored a goal, I feel I need to be subdued. Sometimes I feel the burn of dads’ eyes into my back when I get on the ice to practice with the team. It is this misconception of hockey moms that needs to be overcome, and I want to be the first to say “I am hockey mom…hear me CHEER!”     Written by Debi Stagg, stay-at-home mom, mother to Donovan & Kyle, loving wife to Terry, dear sister to four other siblings & friend to all. Debi may be reached by email at staggcan@telusplanet.net